The Twelve Days of Christmas


snowman Christmas Song For Al, The Twelve Pains at Christmas, The Twelve Bugs of Christmas, The Twelve Cats of Christmas

Christmas Song For Al

With twelve days till christmas,
your family got for you:
12 days fruit picking,
11 offramp selling,
10 toilets cleaning,
9 digging graves,
8 snaking sewers,
7 spearing rats,
6 training guard dogs,
5 giving blood!
4 crash-test dummying,
3 jobs roach killing,
2 jobs dog catching,
and one job santaing at the mall...
- from Married With Children

The Twelve Pains At Christmas

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Finding a Christmas tree.

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Husband (2): Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Inebriated man (3): Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Frustrated man (4): Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Frustrated wife (6): Facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up these lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Angry man (7): The Salvation Army,
6: Facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez!
2: I'm trying to rig up these lights!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Loud kid (8): I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!
7: Charities
6: And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Oh, making out these cards,
3: Edith, get me a beer, huh?
2: What? We have no extension cords?!?
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Another frustrated man (9): No parking spaces,
8: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!
7: Donations!
6: Facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Writing out those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!?
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
Toy-commercial voice (10): "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!!
7: Get a job, ya bum!!!
6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez, look at this!
2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
TV Critic (11): Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!
7: Charities!!
6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper?
2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is:
A few guys: Singing Christmas Carols,
11: Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking?
8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
7: Charities!
6: Gotta make 'em dinner!
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it!
3: Shut up, you!
2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

The Twelve Bugs of Christmas

For the first bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the third bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the fourth bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Run it with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the fifth bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Ask for a dump,
Run it with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the sixth bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Reinstall the software,
Ask for a dump,
Run it with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the seventh bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Say they need an upgrade,
Reinstall the software,
Ask for a dump,
Run it with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the eight bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Find a way around it,
Say they need an upgrade,
Reinstall the software,
Ask for a dump,
Run it with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the ninth bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Blame it on the hardware,
Find a way around it,
Say they need an upgrade,
Reinstall the software,
Ask for a dump,
Run it with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the tenth bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Change the documentation,
Blame it on the hardware,
Find a way around it,
Say they need an upgrade,
Reinstall the software,
Ask for a dump,
Run it with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the eleventh bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Say it's not supported,
Change the documentation,
Blame it on the hardware,
Find a way around it,
Say they need an upgrade,
Reinstall the software,
Ask for a dump,
Run it with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.
For the twelfth bug of Christmas the hacker said to me:
Tell them it's a feature,
Say it's not supported,
Change the documentation,
Blame it on the hardware,
Find a way around it,
Say they need an upgrade,
Reinstall the software,
Ask for a dump,
Run it with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
and see if they can do it again.

The 12 Cats of Christmas...

On the first day of Christmas when I brought home my tree
My 12 cats were laughing at me

On the second day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the third day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the fourth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the fifth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the sixth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the seventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the eighth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the ninth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the tenth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
11 broken branches
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the twelfth day of Christmas I looked at my poor tree
12 cats a-climbing
11 broken branches
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands

........................and my 12 cats laughing at me

Ĉi paĝo estas je 15 Decembro 2001 modifita.