Metaphysical Miscellany

In the Castle the telephone works beautifully, of course; I've been told it's being used there all the time; that naturally speeds up the work a great deal. We can hear this continual telephoning in our telephones down here as a humming and a singing, you must have heard it too. Now, this humming and singing transmitted by our telephones is the only real and reliable thing you'll hear, everything else is deceptive. There's no fixed connection with the Castle, no central exchange that transmits our calls farther. When anybody calls up the Castle from here, the instruments in all the subordinate departments ring, or rather they would ring if practically all the departments — I know it for a certainty — didn't leave their receivers off. Now and then, however, a fatigued official may feel the need of a little distraction, especially in the evenings and at night, and may hang the receiver up. Then we get an answer, but an answer of course that's merely a practical joke.

A blonde is walking along a river. She sees another blonde on the other side. She calls out "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The other blonde yells back "You ARE on the other side!" (español) (esperanto)